Report Card: Morlein Lager House

The Morlein Lager House

http://www.moerleinlagerhouse.com

 

Overall GrubGrade B+

The Breakdown:

Atmosphere: Grade A-: From an appearance standpoint, we haven’t been to many places as easy on the eyes as Morlein Lager House. The interior and exterior are both contemporary in décor with lots of dark wood accents and tasteful wall litter. Some of the walls are entirely made of glass, which provided a spectacular view of the Ohio River. Overall, you get the impression that you are dining somewhere a little more upscale than a traditional lager house. Tables spacing was appropriate and the background music was at an appropriate level to allow for dinner conversation. However, on our visit, which was on Valentine’s Day, Morlein Lager House was quite busy and very noisy.  So we’re not sure if the noise level was due to the acoustics of the dining room or the volume of customers, but it became a little challenging to have a conversation with your dinner partner, which is kind of important on a day like Valentine’s Day.

High marks: Clean, upscale, breathtaking view

Low marks: Noisy

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Service: Grade A-: Our server, Sheena, was fantastic. She was slightly engaging and attentive without being oppressive. She also provided some decent recommendations regarding the menu. For the most part, we received exactly what we ordered. We did have a smidge of a wait for some of the food and drinks, but that may be less due to our server’s skills than the volume of patrons celebrating Valentine’s Day at Morlein Lager House.

High marks: Friendly, engaging service

Low marks: A little slow in some spot

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Food/Spirits: Grade B+: For drinks, Katina started with something called a Cherry Smash. It had a strong, tart cherry flavor but no real alcohol bite to it. But we don’t think the drink was weak, because you could feel the drink on your tongue – like the alcohol was gently molesting your tongue. You probably won’t see the phrase “gently molesting” anywhere else but on this blog. I opted for one of my favorite beers, the Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale. A strong start and a vanilla and oak finish are the primary characteristic of this beer, and the high ABV content makes it my prime choice if I want to get to my “destination” quickly. Two or three of those and you’re almost there, and once I figure out how to brew a version at home, I might come down with a spontaneous case of agoraphobia and never leave my house again. We snagged some soft pretzels for our appetizer. They were big and soft with not too much salt. The pretzels were served with a tasty (not spicy) beer cheese and a spicy brown mustard that had a nice kick to it. They were good, but the pretzels at Brazenhead and TGIFriday’s are both better. Katina ordered crab cakes for her entree. The cakes were served on field greens dressed with a vinaigrette. Katina found the crab cakes to be good with a nice balance between the crab meat and other ingredients. The crab cakes were served with mild white sauce and a sweet and spicy tomato relish which provided a nice contrast. I opted for the NY strip for my entree. The steak was served with cheddar potatoes and something called Angry Mac and Cheese. The steak was delicious and tender despite not being cooked to the correct temperature. I had ordered it medium well, but there was nary a trace of pink on the meat. The steak was still good, but would have been better if cooked the way I had requested. The Angry Mac and Cheese is not named correctly because there’s nothing angry about it. The was a minimal spiciness from the sausage, but the mac and cheese was fairly dry and in need of more cheese sauce. The cheddar potatoes, however, were the highlight of the meal. They were creamy and delicious, and I normally shy away from “mashed potato” dishes. Why, you ask? It’s a long story about my mom pulling a fast one one me with powdered mashed potatoes that were supposed to be from a restaurant…no need for details. I don’t trust mashed potatoes anymore. They usually sit right next to ham on my list of things I avoid eating. I’ll give you the full story sometime, but you’ll have to buy me a beer to get it.

High marks: Good drinks and good food, cheddar potatoes

Low marks: Mac and cheese not spicy enough, side dish (cheddar potatoes) was highlight of meal

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Value: Grade C+: The food was really good, but not mind-blowing spectacular. We dropped a fair amount of coin for dinner, and none of the food was the best we’ve had. We think about $20 lower on the bill would bump the value grade up to something respectable. We would recommend Morlein Lager House for a special occasion because of the scenery and upscale atmosphere, but for the casual drop by it’s a little too expensive for the caliber of food served.

High marks: Good food

Low marks: A little over priced for the quality …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Autism Friendly Score: 3: Morlein Lager House has some gluten free options on their menu which might benefit parents of autistic children, and you can make reservations online. But the noise level and open scenery might be overwhelming for the sensory challenged kids, and the lack of an online children’s menu means you’d have to hope food off the grown-up menu would suffice. We recommend leaving the kiddos at home for this one.

 

Report Card: Rock Bottom Brewery

Rock Bottom Brewery at Fountain Square in Cincinnati

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Overall GrubGrade B+

The Breakdown:

Atmosphere: Grade B+: Rock Bottom Brewery is located right off of Fountain Square in downtown Cincinnati. We stopped by on a Friday at around 8pm, which should be right at the start of weekend rush (it is a brewery/bar, right?). So it was no surprise that we got saddled with a 20 minute wait for a table. And we probably got the best table in the restaurant…right near the kitchen (that statement should be read with a voice dripping with sarcasm). At least the tables were nicely spaced, which provided us a modicum of privacy. Rock Bottom had a definite brew-pub feel to it, especially with the rather large pane of glass behind the bar which provided a spectacular, panoramic view of the fermenting vats. The walls were decorated with bar wall litter and flat screen televisions. The place was clean, but not really unique in its appearance.

High marks: Genre specific décor, nicely spaced tables

Low marks: Minor wait for table, poor table location

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Service: Grade B: Our service was solid, good, and accurate. Our server was not really engaging, but that’s to be expected considering how busy Rock Bottom Brewery was during our visit. Our only real complaint about the service was I was frequetly caught with an empty drink in front of me. I’m not a lush, but I expect our server to ask if I need a refill when they walk by if they notice an empty glass in front of me. Once you read about what I had to eat, you’ll understand my disdain for being left dry since my mouth was en fuego.

High marks: Good service considering what a madhouse the place was

Low marks: Empty beer glasses and a hot tongue

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Food/Spirits: Grade B+: We started off with the Skillet Cheese Fries, which is Rock Bottom’s take on chili cheese fries. We both found them to be excellent. The fries were topped with a flavorful chili (and it had better be good chili if it’s coming from Cincy) and had a nice balance with the onions, cheese, and chili. For drinks, Katina started with the Sangria Rojo followed with a Peach Cuban Mojito. The sangria was sweet and fruity and tasted exactly what you’d want sangia to taste. The Peach Cuban Mojito was very refreshing with a nice, subtle peach flavor. I started with the White Tiger, which is Rock Bottom’s version of a wheat beer. That one was so yummy I decided to get a sampler – plus it cut down on my need of our server. The take home message from the sampler is this: Rock Bottom Brewery has, in my humble opinion, the absolute best IPA I’ve ever tasted. It was so balanced and drinkable that at first I thought I got the order of the beers wrong. Now if you are so addicted to hops you like your beer to taste like liquid yard clippings, this IPA is not for you. If, like me, you like a more moderate hop presence in your beer then walk, run, drive, or catch a flight to Cincy and try this beer. Katina ordered chicken enchiladas for her entree. She was very impressed at how good they tasted considering Rock Bottom is not a Mexican restaurant. The enchiladas could have had more sauce and cheese, but the sauce that did come with the dish were pretty tasty. The red salsa was pretty spicy and the green tomatilla sauce was mild. I opted for the El Diablo pizza, which is advertised on the menu as being hot. Most of the time, when menu items claim to be hot, I take that with a grain of salt because I’m usually not impressed. The El Diablo pizza tasted like it had been baked in Hell – and I mean that as a sincere compliment. It was meaty, strong, oppressive, down right rude to my tongue, but I loved every minute of it. Topped with pickled jalapenos (really HOT) and spicy, andouille sausage, this pizza is the real deal. I was impressed with the flavor and taken aback by the amount of heat. You’ll be having heartburn for dessert if you eat this pizza, but pleasure is always a little better when it hurts a little bit, too.

High marks: Awesome appetizer, one bad-assed pizza, and yummy drinks

Low marks: Enchiladas needed more sauce

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Value: Grade A: Pretty good food and really good beer. Katina enjoyed her mixed drinks and we skated out of there dropping a mere $50, which was quite surprising. If you stop by on a weekend evening, be prepared for a busy experience.

High marks: Surprisingly high quality food for a surprisingly low quality price

Low marks: Dropping by on a weekend afternoon might improve the atmosphere and service

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Autism Friendly Score: We’d have to give Rock Bottom Brewery a 3 for our Autism Friendly Score. This restaurant might score higher if visited during off-peak hours, but the noise level and chaos would not serve the sensory sensitive kiddos. We didn’t even bother to look into a kids menu– it is a bar, so kids are not its target demographic. Again, this score is only our opinion on how appropriate this dining spot would be for a child on the spectrum and not a comment on the overall quality of the restaurant.

 

Report Card: Koto Japanese Steakhouse

http://kotocincinnati.com/

 

Overall GrubGrade B-

The Breakdown:

Atmosphere: Grade B: We stopped by Koto Japanese Steakhouse in Cincinnati on our way home from Nashville. It just happened to be Katina’s birthday on the evening we visited, so I was hoping for a really nice experience. I was disappointed. There’s nothing wrong with Koto, but it is not a place to take someone for a romantic experience. First, the place was nearly impossible to find. My car’s navigation system and Katina’s Magellan-like sense of direction were both challenged trying to locate Koto. Once we finally arrived, we found a pretty typical looking Japanese steakhouse with typical Japanese steakhouse décor. There were only a few other diners in the place, and that was a good thing since Koto’s appeared to be woefully understaffed. But it was quiet while we waited to start our meal, and that at least gave Katina and I a chance to chat.

High marks: Quiet and almost empty

Low marks: Hard to locate

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Service: Grade C+: Our server’s name was Julie, and she did a fairly commendable job in taking our order and snagging us some drinks, although it did seem to take a bit before the drinks actually arrived. The poor service grade comes from the fact that there appeared to be only one hibachi samurai manning the table-side grills. So, after we arrived we had to watch this guy cook for the two tables next to us. Add the fact that we had been driving pretty much the entire day, and the restaurant staff were lucky I didn’t brain them with a wooden bowl and grill them right next to the traditional onion volcano that is always present at Japanese steakhouses. Once our “chef” got going, he whipped the food up fairly quickly and with a decent amount of showmanship. It’s just a shame there weren’t two or three of them on duty.

High marks: Decent showmanship from hibachi chef

Low marks: Very long wait to get meal started

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Food/Spirits: Grade B: Koto Japanese Steakhouse is not the best Japanese steakhouse we’ve been to, but it certainly isn’t the worst either (that would be you, Benihana). For drinks, I opted for a couple of giant-sized Sapporos, and Katina opted for a drink called Constant Buzz. The Constant Buzz was good, but not really strong enough to warrant an awesome name like Constant Buzz. Most of the beer drinkers out there have had a Sapporo before, but if you haven’t tried one you should. You might find the light taste to be right up your alley. For our entree, we ordered the Dinner for Two, which came with chicken, shrimp, lobster, and filet mignon. The food was actually pretty good once cooked, but again, we might not be objective since we were hungry enough to briefly consider cannibalism. Plus, Koto Japanese Steakhouse had their own version of Genji’s Yum-Yum sauce, and it tasted pretty close to the original. And finally, we got more fried rice with our meal than we have ever received at a Japanese steakhouse before, and the fried rice was really good.

On a side note, even though Katina and I love the hibachi style food served at Japanese steakhouses, our visit to Koto underscores one of the drawbacks to this style of dining – the other diners. Sitting at a table with a bunch of strangers inevitably leads to a conversation with said bunch of strangers, whether it is wanted or not. The other people at our table weren’t bad, though. But the real action was happening next door, at the table to our right. It was here that Katina and I watched a couple of late twenty-something/early thirty-something “studs” doing their best to pick up a couple of “wholesome young women” that were seated at their table. The “studs,” in this case, were a couple techno-nerds visiting the Queen City for something to do with cell phones. The “wholesome young women” were a couple of late 30’s/early 40’s Kim Cattral wannabes who were not playing hard to get. I imagine if we would have stuck around for another half-hour we could have watched them play spin the bottle. That was much more entertaining than our hibachi chef’s onion volcano.

High marks: Pretty good food and lots of rice

Low marks: Weak mixed drink, same old Japanese steakhouse tricks

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Value: Grade B: It’s hard to score Koto Japanese Steakhouse any higher because of the very long wait and apparent staffing issues. However, food quality and portion size were a little above average, and the entertainment was top notch. While not able to supplant Genji’s as our all time favorite in this category, Koto performed well enough on most fronts to make us feel comfortable recommending you give them a try if you’re in the neighborhood (and you can find them).

High marks: Portion size, quality

Low marks: Nothing able to make up for eternal wait